Valentine’s Day Self-Love
The season of love is here, and although we tend to focus on our relationship status or how to send love to our significant other, Valentine’s Day can be a reminder to celebrate all forms of love, including self-love. We often forget that the longest and most important relationship you have in life is the one with yourself, therefore we can take this time to appreciate how far you have come, and show some love for the person you are today. So whether you are single or partnered up this Valentine’s Day, we can honor the love that deserves the most attention, yet tends to receive the least recognition – self-love!
You might be thinking that celebrating self-love this Valentine’s Day sounds pathetic or self-indulgent, however self-compassion and self-care has positive impacts on our physical and mental health. These benefits are rooted in the actions you take to care for yourself, including developing a high-regard for your happiness, taking care of your needs, and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Loving yourself allows you to live in alignment with your values, to deepen your understanding of yourself, and to appreciate the things you have rather than what you lack. The relationship you hold with yourself is the foundation that can help you build relationships with others and foster connections within your community. As you show more love to yourself, you open yourself up to giving and receiving more love from others.
Self-love will look different for each person since we all have diverse needs and various ways to take care of ourselves. In a general sense, the strategies listed below may act as a guide in how to cultivate self-love that can be weaved into your daily lifestyle.
1.Prioritizing Physical and Mental Health
The condition of your physical and mental health are positively correlated, meaning that how you treat your physical health can influence your mental health, and vice versa. This can be seen in the way you feel more confident, energized, and vibrant when you fuel your body with nourishing foods and exercise regularly. Similarly, supplementing your mind with adequate sleep and consumption helps to ward off any illnesses. Remembering to give yourself time to take care of your body and mind daily will lead to positive compounding effects. If you are struggling with mental health issues, it can be helpful to reach out for help by visiting a therapist or booking a free online consultation through our website.
2. Become Mindful
This sounds easier said than done, but practicing mindfulness on a regular basis can allow you to grow a deeper understanding of what you feel, think, and want, which in turn help you love yourself deeply. You can practice this simply by recognizing how you react to things (rejection, losses, setbacks), or by taking several moments in the morning to see where your thoughts go rather than checking your phone or getting ready right away, or within your daily habits! Do you check your phone while waiting in line somewhere, or hitting snooze when you know you should be getting up? Love yourself for your past actions and decisions, and begin living in accordance to your values.
3. Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
The old adage, from Theodore Roosevelt, who said that “comparison is the thief of joy” continues to hold true. Social comparison can cause stress, as well as harmful feelings like jealousy, lack, guilt, or anxiety. The rise of social media has made it increasingly difficult to avoid this behavior as we constantly check our phones for content and are bombarded with posts from friends, coworkers, and family (and people we have never met!), portraying beautiful vacations and events, or incredible achievements, or even extraordinary body images. In regard to social media content, it is important to realize that we only see the best version of this person – how they want to be perceived, the best angle/lighting, the good moments – but rarely do we get behind-the-scenes content, including the true interactions, or reality of the event, or the challenges that are experienced in that lifestyle. In regard to your smaller circle, while we witness people we grew up with, or someone in a similar role as us, or even our friends or family, accomplish impressive successes, it is hard not to compare yourself and feel down if you do not live up to the same standard. In this case, it is important to understand that everyone is on their own path and at their own pace. Their interests and motives differ from yours. You may be dealing with other circumstances, different privileges, or cultivating something that takes more time and resources. Staying true to yourself, loving who you are and how far you have come, and keeping your focus on what you want will give you all the joy that you need.
4. Set Boundaries
This one goes out to all the people-pleasers! The people who give so much energy and time to others in order to be liked and included. This has harmful consequences as it is often reciprocated with little to no consideration or effort in return. When you start feeling disappointed in outcomes, or in the way people are treating you, it is critical to be communicative by saying ‘no’ to things that you are no longer comfortable with or capable of executing. Recognize your needs and be thoughtful in the way you feel when placed in certain situations so that you (and others) can grow mutual relationships. The right people will respect you and your needs.
5. Forgive yourself
Whether you tend to ponder about distant memories, or ruminate over recent events, you need to forgive yourself for past mistakes or those awkward moments. In reality, nobody thinks about you as critically or deeply as you do to yourself. Most of the time, there are situations that are out of your control, or you were doing the best you could with the best of your knowledge at the time. Give yourself some grace and love your authenticity.
6. Surround Yourself With Good People
Whether you are single or in a relationship, it is crucial to surround yourself with support and loving people. The saying goes, “you are who you surround yourself with,” meaning that you will ultimately behave and think in accordance to those you spend the most time with – mindset, values, and behavior in all. It is helpful to find and spend as much time with people who not only hold similar values as you, but also respect and value you. This pertains to friends and lovers, since these are the people you choose to spend your time with. Depending on your age, resources, and privileges, this may also include family and coworkers, therefore sometimes you may have to recognize your capabilities, use communication, and distance yourself the best you can from disruptive relationships. Set your standards and practice actions that you would like to receive in a relationship, then let go of those who do not reciprocate the same behaviors, or at least work to do better. The goal is to nurture yourself with healthy relationships and people who believe in you, uplift you, and support you.
7. Live Intentionally
You will experience greater acceptance and love for yourself when you live with purpose and discipline, no matter what is happening in your life. Your purpose does not have to be crystal clear or strictly planned out. If your intention is to live in a healthy way, or to give to your community, you will make small actions each day that support this intention, which will ultimately lead to bigger outcomes. Drinking a glass of water over a can of pop will help your physical and mental health overtime. Likewise, offering to shovel your neighbor’s driveway instead of just your own, will enable you to engage in similar actions within your community in the future. Little things add up! This will make major impacts on your mental health as you accomplish the goals you set out for yourself, especially those that benefit others.
Deciding to practice just one or two of these strategies will allow you to develop more acceptance and love for yourself. The more you invest in yourself, and the deeper you grow the love for yourself, the better prepared you are for healthier relations with others. Remember to not only give yourself the gift of love this Valentine’s Day, but all year round.
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